How to lead people who are smarter than you

Steve Jobs, who was famous for his hiring and recruiting practices, believed a small team of A+ players could run circles around a giant team of B and C players. He was thoroughly convinced that the quality of the team was everything.

Many leaders are reluctant to hire as Jobs did. They settle for dependable but less stellar teams—in part because they feel threatened or intimidated at the prospect of leading someone smarter than they are.

Leading a team of exceptionally bright people does require skill, but as Jobs proved again and again, the payoff is well worth it. Here are some pointers for getting the most out of your own A+ employees:

Don't be intimidated. Leaders tend to think they need to have all the answers—and to be terrified when they don't. But your role as leader is not to know everything; it's to set the stage. That means working to sustain and support people who are more experienced, up to date and talented than you. It may feel disconcerting at first, but it will serve you well in the future. You do have to know enough to be conversant—so let your stars take center stage while you ask the questions, do the reading, learn and investigate.

Confront your fears. It's natural to feel fearful when you are leading people who are smarter than you. Whether you're afraid of being shown up, of looking unprepared and foolish, or even of being passed over for advancement while someone who was below you rises above, face your fears and work through them. Then remember that hiring the smartest people is ultimately an act of confidence and smart leadership.

Don't micromanage. I've seen this happen a lot: a leader feels insecure so they overcompensate for what they don't know by becoming a controlling micromanager. Remember, your role as leader is to allow the smart people to do what they do best. Support them but don't hover. Keep your actions empowering and maintain strong relationships with your team members by providing support and resources and then stepping aside.

Get educated. I believe it always helps to have a learner's inquisitive mindset. If you consider yourself a student rather than an authority figure, you can more easily share your concerns and ask others to include you in discussions that will help you learn. Let those around you know you want to learn from them and be deliberate about creating opportunities to make it happen. You don't have to try and become an expert, but gain insight into what your people do and it will give you the acumen you need to keep up with those around you.

Stay vulnerable. If you hear that people are questioning your leadership capabilities, be transparent with what you've heard, and what you think, and what you plan on doing about it. Don't go in trying to safeguard your ego. Instead, approach the situation with a mix of vulnerability and strength, and figure out how you are going to work together and support each other.

Seek good counsel. Find someone who can listen to and advise you. It may be a peer, a coach, or a mentor. Speak to them candidly, share your concerns, ask for help. Sitting with fearful or anxious feelings often makes things worse, but seeking counsel might help ease your emotional load.

Add value. As a leader, your role is best served when you are able to bring people together and be there for them in ways no one else can. The best leaders don't always coach, but they do consistently add value by providing support and resources to their team.

Lead from within. You don't always have to be the smartest person in the room—you just have to have that person on your team, give them the support they need, and get out of their way.

Source lollydaskal.com

As a software engineer, what should be my plan after 40s when I am too expensive for any company

The ugly reality is that you are "unwanted" after 40s. Your income is way above the US National median income. You are sitting over a time bomb. Your organization just tolerates you somehow. You are an expensive overhead for them specially if you haven't kept pace with the latest technology landscape of AI, data science, cloud computing, block chain, machine learning and big data. Worst part is even if you agree to work for less they won't hire you; they want to maintain the median age & HR pyramid.

In a nutshell you are a waste, a useless tissue paper after the 40s, chances are that in your personal life also you are not doing that great, you are either going through a severe mid life crisis fantasizing or repenting about your youth or you are going through a divorce. You are going downhill, craving for opposite sex attention. You are constantly bogged down by your slightly younger friends who are posting their pictures with exotic locales on facebook and their superb professional achievements on LinkedIn. You think about quitting all the social media channels. Its robbing you off your mental peace.

Unless you bring a strong value proposition to the table; a turn around specialist, a game changer with high revenue & turnover history, a high performer as Satya Nadella or the likes, its literally the retirement age in the software world and its curtains for you.

What to do now : Is it the end of the road?

The best thing to do as an SOS is to bring down your salary to National Median income. Lets say if you decide to become a teacher, you will have zero threat and fears & lesser competition for your salary. Initially you will feel terribly humiliated & depressed to drop yourself from the peak of your career to a trough. All that time, when you were so much in control, much ahead of your peers, luck was by your side, all those long term deputations abroad will haunt you.

Even the universities or the school will grill you for such a dramatic change in the career path with no academic experience. The people around you, the small town atmosphere, non corporate, blue collar everything. You will have to shun your extravagant lifestyle; the only silver lining will be that your painful tax outgo will drastically reduce & you will have the "free time" to experiment with how you can turn your passion into a living (for example blogging, writing & training) & get set on the path of entrepreneur-ism.

Life is not worth learning multitude of skills all at the same time; languages, architecture, program management, processes, delivery, people and all that BS and the irony is that even after that & so much experience you have to sell yourself to companies to go back to rat race and lick boots of your bosses. Moreover none of those people are going to be at your side when you are in crisis.

So I would rather be a freelancer, a trainer, a professor, entrepreneur or if nothing I could wait tables at a restaurant, or become an admin in a university or take up farming and live way below my means & pursue my passion all day, all night long after 40s.

This is what the essence of life is "Change". Things change, seasons change, time change, people change and everything changes. This is what humanity is all about. Fight, struggle, adjust to change & hope for betterment. Those who remain in comfort zone are left behind.

It is not the strongest nor the most intelligent of the species that survive, but the ones who are most adaptable to "change" that survive.

Source: quora.com

What is the difference between genuinely smart people and people trying to be smart?

It's a few things in my view. First one is the need (or lack of) to advertise how smart they are. All the genuinely smart people I know don't try to inject how smart they are into conversations by jumping off topic onto some personal story or new subject they know a lot about. They're comfortable in their intelligence and how it comes across that they don't feel the need to wear it like a neon sign. Their intelligence isn't there to impress other people, it's there for them and their use. If other people notice it and admire it, great. But they don't need it.

The second thing is the genuinely smart person is teachable. They know that no matter how smart they are, there is someone who knows more than they do and rather than feel threatened by that, they take full advantage of it. They listen when the expert talks, they ask questions, they take criticism and they are always willing and eager to learn more.

Third and final thing that I've noticed is that the things a genuinely smart person is that they lack snobbery in regards to their area of expertise. I know that sounds weird, so let me explain. One of my closet friends (who doubles as my first cousin) is super passionate about classic literature. She read books like Othello, My Antonia, and Jane Eyre in middle school, for fun rather than by force. Since then, she'd obtained a BA in Philosophy (another favorite reading material) and is working on her Master's in English Literature. Ans guess what? As much as she loves her classic works, she also loves more modern work, like Harry Potter or The Fault in Our Stars. In other words, my friend doesn't put on airs, looking down at other aspects of her subject as “lesser” because they're not as serious or impacting as “classic work”. She appreciates all of it for what it is, either deeply philosophical or just a nice afternoon of fun. She knows liking more “easy” subject matter doesn't mean she's not intelligent-it just means she likes to read a lot and has varied tastes.

These are key traits that someone who is merely trying to be smart will lack. They will have to remind you, constantly, how smart they are. It'll be subtle and overt and guess what, it'll be all talk and little, if any walk to match it. And the moment you call into question their expertise? They're not going to realize they have more to learn, they're gonna have their hackles up and bite you for daring to suggest they're not a genius. You suggest that it might be fun to make a baking soda volcano? The response probably is: “that's so childish, I only like serious experiments”.

If you see any of those popping up, you're probably in the presence of someone who's trying very hard to be seen as smart, versus actually being smart.

Answered by Isabelle-Grey

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People who try to appear to act smart generally do some of the things listed below while people who are smart generally don't:

- Use big words when unnecessary
- Point out the lack of knowledge in a person in the attempt to make themselves look more knowledgeable
- Talk about abstract ideas for no real reason
- Talk really fast to demonstrate that they can think faster than you
- Assume they know what you are talking about rather than actually listening
- Explain things in excess when not needed

Those points above are some things to watch out for to help you determine if a person is actually smart or is just trying to act the part.

Below I touch on some things that smart people do that people who are acting the part don't do

If someone really is smart they usually have more self doubt.

The people that have the least amount of self doubt are the ones who probably aren't actually a smart person.

Of course if someone knows something then they will stand firm by their knowledge, generally speaking though, smart people are more aware of the fact that they don't really know all that much in the grand scheme of things.

So pay attention to the people who show self doubt. They are most likely the real deal.

If you know you know something, you don't have to prove it to others that you know it.

We humans all like social approval and our knowledge and worth to be recognized by others.

That being said though, if you notice that someone is seeking after the recognition of others rather than focusing more on making sure they are doing everything properly, then this indicates that they are trying to act smart rather than being the part.

This is because they are more concerned about looking right than being right.

Smart people focus on honestly being right rather than looking the part.

Even if others think a smart person is wrong that won't stop the smart person since they know they aren't.

A smart person knows when they know something and are not as concerned with looking right because they'd rather be right.

Another way to determine if a person is smart or not is to listen to them.

“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

At first just assume that every thing a person says is true... 

Then when you talk to them about what they've said, asking genuine questions about the things they've indicated to you that they have knowledge on, they will demonstrate if they actually know what they are talking about or not.

If they start saying contradictory things or things that don't make a lot of sense ask them for clarification about it.

If their clarification leads to more confusion this is a sign that they really are just spouting nonsense about something they really don't know about.

The best way to catch a liar is to just ask him questions about what happened.

With time it will become apparent what the truth really is.

Main Thing to Look out for:

The main thing to look out for is if the person is trying to convince you to think of them as a smart person. When you meet people just ask yourself if what they're doing seems to be with the intent of persuading you to think they are smart. Doing this should give you a better idea of what the person is all about.

Answered by David-Brown

Source: quora.com

How people manipulate you by making you regret

There's something about the dark which pulls out feelings we're numb to during the day.

As your monitor lights up your face in the dark room you sit in before getting into bed, you can sometimes get lost in thinking about the state of your social relationships and the progress of your plans.

The nighttime's darkness allows us to analyse how people treated us during the day with a meditative clarity. You start remembering times when people made you feel unwanted, times when prideful individuals gleefully showed off their material possessions, and times when your boss didn't value your output at work.

You start labeling those who possess narcissistic qualities as you think about them further. You realize just how hungry, for what they call success, some people are. You're astounded by the criminals, and are taken aback by those who lie without blinking an eye. They're always in a rush and only focus on themselves. Attainment of wealth and status blinds them to what you call the deeper meanings of life.

As you think about the people in your life before bed, you start to wonder if any of them ever think about you.

Certain thoughts just don't seem to go away however; they conversely grow and poke at our emotions. Someone's nefarious reminder of our potential regrets is particularly powerful in being lodged inside our minds.

"Be sure you won't regret leaving this job for another."

Every action we commit is one that's set in stone for the history books. After their performance, our actions can only be thought about, and their effects can only be celebrated, regretted, or hopefully fixed.

The aim of this article is to help you understand how others may manipulate you by encouraging you to feel regret.

Why eliciting self doubt in others is easy to do

The nefarious induction, and encouragement, of regret in others is the weaponization of a possible truth which is difficult to prove. Regret is seldom crystal clear in its reasoning. It's difficult to regret something with one hundred percent certainty as we never truly know whether our actions were a completely terrible idea.

Regret is grey, it's fuzzy.

Yes, you may regret being up front with the cute person at the bar only to get rejected, but would you regret the same act if your direct advances paid off? Is it thereby worth regretting an action if subjectivity plays a massive role in how successful that course of action is?

Yes, you may regret lashing out at your parents for allowing their worry for you to overstep some privacy boundaries. What if your reaction was warranted? How do you know you wouldn't react the same way again if you felt the same emotions?

You can even come to regret doing many things you've long considered to be good ideas. Regret is born out of feeling like you're missing out on a more optimal course of action. You should've said this instead of that. You should've went here instead of there. Once you come up with a better "there," then your "here," has the potential to be regretted.

The fuzziness and slippery nature of regret is what people who seek to induce regret weaponize. They understand that the potential to regret always looms over our shoulders as we act our way through life. Nobody has this thing figured out. We take a series of calculated risks; day in and day out. They understand that regret can always have the potential to be true, even if someone's mightily confident in what they've done.

"You should've bought the flight that overlays in Manila, it's always a few hundred dollars cheaper."

All that's required for regret to sprout and spread its roots in the mind of another is the introduction of a better action, outcome, or situation than what in fact took place.

Why regret is powerful in submitting

Riding the wave of the potential truth behind regret, the malicious individual thereby seems to know something you don't when they introduce regret into the picture. They arm themselves with a perceived knowledge about what you should have done, and what you should've said.

By making you feel a sense of regret, they place themselves in a dominant position as it relates to yours. Their confidence wouldn't have a wedge stuck in it, as they go on to stick a wedge in the confidence you acted with prior to speaking with them.

When someone makes you feel regret, they place themselves in a position to teach you and give advice. Once they elicit a sense of regret about the past within you, malicious individuals will jump at the chance to mold your actions into the future.

They'll place themselves as the knowledgeable one and will reinforce your potential regret of the past. Such individuals will make you feel inadequate in the context of what they coerce you to regret. They'll make you feel unskilled, and will tend to make themselves out to be as skillful.

These individuals will utilize a potential possibility of regret being right for you to feel as a chance for themselves to come out on top. They'll be less interested in figuring out whether you really should be regretting what you did and will be more interested in continually making you feel it.

A person who regrets is a person who is generally at a crossroads. They are generally more lost than the confident trailblazers. They're more susceptible to being coerced, pressured, and manipulated. Be wary of individuals who consistently mention the possibility of regret around you. Try to pick out the ones who seek to capitalize on your act of regretting your past actions in an effort to place themselves above you.

Source: kletische.com

7 ways to take control of your mind

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have a negative voice inside his head. It’s part of life. It’s called free will. It gives you the chance to make smart choices, improve your self and grow to become a better version of yourself.

But until those benefits happen, you have to deal with negative thoughts that ambush you all day and night. Sometimes they hide in the depths of your subconscious mind, and at other times they are right in front of your face. During the day, negative thinking is more manageable. You are distracted by work, family, and responsibility. Then night rolls around, and you think you’re ok. You fall asleep but four hours later, you are jolted awake staring into the darkness. Did you ever notice that your negative voices are louder in the dark?

That’s when you lose control. Your twisted thoughts distort reality. Not knowing what to do, you sit back and watch the horror movie in your mind. Helpless and spiraling out of control, you try hard but can’t stop the frightening images your imagination has created.

Since negative thoughts are sneaky, and they appear in disguise, they show up as fear, doubt, or anxiety. Just one small thought and your imagination is triggered,  tumbling into a wild whirling cyclone that knocks you off your feet. It doesn’t have to be that way. You can change your thought process.

TAKING BACK CONTROL

Mind control is a character strength that improves the quality of your life. You may not be able to stop the initial trigger thought, but you can take back the controls and not succumb to them. You don’t have to get swept away.

Here’s how to get a grip on it:

1. Be aware. Be prepared

When you are aware, you are mentally strong enough to fight off the thoughts you don’t want.  Negative thinking happens to everyone. No one (that I know) can escape the initial trigger thought. What matters most is what happens after it that one thought.  I’m not saying that you should become anxious waiting for negativity to arrive,  it just means that when you are aware, you recognize when that trigger thought happens and knock it out immediately. The more aware you are, the quicker you grab hold of your mind and take back the control.

2. Name it

When you are stuck in negativity, and feel yourself falling into dark thoughts, stop the cycle by naming it. Whether you whisper it, or say it out loud, naming it causes a separation in your subconscious mind. That is enough to break the cycle. When I was suffering from panic attacks, naming what was happening is what saved me. The negative force is strong but you can be stronger. Name it to stop the cycle.

3. Fear is illogical

I remember when I was having hurricane shutters put up on my 14th-floor apartment. The workmen were hanging on ropes on the side of the building. There was no balcony beneath them or anything to fall onto, except the ground below. When they finished, they came into the apartment. I was standing there with my sweet, gentle 85-pound Labrador on a leash when one of the high-flying workers freaked out. He was so afraid of my dog; he wouldn’t step foot in the apartment. He’d rather stay on the balcony railing 14 stories high (where he jumped to) than come near my dog. I had to take my dog to another room so he could come in. It taught me an important lesson;  a person can be incredibly brave in one aspect of life, and illogically fearful in another. Fear makes no sense.

4. Erase and Replace

Sometimes just saying, “erase and replace” is enough. It’s a positive mantra that kicks out negativity and makes room for positive thoughts to enter. It also helps to have a “replace” statement ready for use when you need it.  One word is all you need. You may choose, “stop” or “no” or “go.” Chant it. Repeat it over and over again. Scream it, sing it, or be creative. Find a replacement word or phrase that will stop the negative cyclone. Other simple and helpful phrases are, let go or everything is fine. Find a replacement that will stop the negativity. Isn’t that why the song from Frozen become so popular? Even little kids subconsciously appreciate the importance of letting go.

5. Do a reality check

Many times I’ve given myself a gentle pat on my face just to snap back to reality. The imagination is a strong force when the negative thought cyclone gets hold of it. You believe what you think. When in reality, it’s just a movie you have created in your mind. And if you’re a creative person; your creations are intense, making them more realistic. If you’re into statistics, this one is easy. What are the chances of your visions becoming reality? Sadly, our loved ones put themselves in situations that haunt us all day and night. So it’s up to you to wipe out those thoughts and bring yourself back to reality.

6. Present Moment Mindfulness

If you are going to take control of your thoughts, you need a mental support system. Present Moment Mindfulness works instantly. When you are caught up in the negative whirlwind, recognize it, erase and replace, and bring your attention to whatever you are doing. If you are washing the dishes and feel your mind meandering onto a dark path, notice what you are doing and whisper it, I am washing the dishes. I feel the soap bubbling on my hands. The water feels warm, and then let yourself go with it. It sounds silly at first, but it really works. My favorite phrase from a meditation I used to teach is… breathing in I feel calm, breathing out I feel ease. Calm, ease, calm, ease.

7. It’s your choice

Remember, this is your freedom of choice; your chance to determine which path you want to take-who you want to be with, what career you want to be in, and what you want to eat for dinner. It’s up to you. You get to choose how long the negativity stays in your mind.

Source: addrc.org

Xứ sở diệu kỳ tàn bạo và chốn tận cùng thế giới

Added on Wednesday, April 22, 2015 5:16:17 PM

Sông sâu thì nước không réo.

Added on Wednesday, April 22, 2015 5:23:09 PM

...dùng tay trái và tay phải làm hai con tính hoàn toàn khác nhau là một việc thực sự không đơn giản. Tôi cũng đã mất khá nhiều thời gian để đạt tới mức thành thạo. Một khi đã làm được rồi, hay nói cách khác, một khi đã dò ra được mẹo thì khả năng này sẽ không dễ gì mất đi. Đại loại như khi đã biết đi xe đạp hay biết bơi. Song không có nghĩa là không cần tập luyện. Chỉ có miệt mài tập luyện mới đạt được tiến bộ và phong độ xuất chúng.

Added on Wednesday, April 22, 2015 5:25:10 PM

...trong một thực tế đặc thù – và đương nhiên tôi ám chỉ cái thang máy khốn nạn này – thì phải loại bỏ những điểm phản đặc thù và coi chúng là điểm đặc thù nghịch lý. Làm gì có chuyện những người lơ là công tác duy tu phần cơ khí, những người đẩy khách vào thang máy rồi quên họ đi, lại có thể chế tạo nổi một chiếc thang máy lập dị điệu nghệ đến mức này?

Added on Thursday, April 23, 2015 6:57:31 AM

Một mùi hương khiến ta tưởng như đang được đứng trên một cánh đồng dưa bở vào một sớm mùa hạ. Không rõ vì sao mùi hương làm tôi chững lại, một cảm giác hi hữu, nghịch cảnh nhưng cũng buồn bã, tựa như hai hoài niệm khác kiểu nhau được chập lại tại một nơi tôi không quen.

Added on Thursday, April 23, 2015 7:11:04 AM

Ông kể cho tôi biết, trong tuần đầu tiên của mùa xuân, dân thành phố trèo lên các tháp canh để xem những con vật đánh nhau. Chỉ trong một tuần ấy, hình ảnh bình yên biến đổi không ngờ, chỉ lúc ấy thôi – khi các con vật vừa thay lông mùa đông và ngay trước lúc các con mẹ sắp đẻ con – các con đực xông vào nhau một cách tàn bạo không tưởng tượng nổi. Biển máu tràn lan dưới đất làm nảy sinh một trật tự mới và cuộc sống mới.

Added on Thursday, April 23, 2015 7:13:15 AM

Người ta vẫn nói chung là màu “trắng”, nhưng có trắng quý phái và trắng dung tục. Màu cũng có dòng dõi của nó.

Added on Thursday, April 23, 2015 5:20:29 PM

Có người sưu tập tem, có người sưu tập đĩa hát, một số khác có hầm rượu vang, có ông triệu phú thì đặt xe tăng ngoài vườn. Tôi sưu tập đầu lâu. Thế giới muôn màu. Chính vì thế mà nó thú vị, đúng không anh bạn?

Added on Friday, April 24, 2015 5:27:12 PM

chẳng có ai đến đây nữa. Ở đây chỉ còn những "giấc mơ xưa" thôi, không còn gì khác.

Added on Friday, April 24, 2015 5:43:21 PM

“Thế thì sẽ buồn tẻ và đơn côi lắm.”

“Đó là bản chất của tiến hóa. Tiến hóa bao giờ cũng cay đắng. Và buồn nữa. Không thể có tiến hóa vui vẻ đâu”

Added on Friday, April 24, 2015 5:46:00 PM

“Chúng tôi, những người làm khoa học, gọi đó là quá trình tiến hóa. Một quá trình bất khả kháng, sớm muộn rồi anh sẽ hiểu ra. Điểm bất khả kháng của tiến hóa là, hừm, anh có biết là gì không?” 

“Tôi không biết. Ông hãy khai hóa tôi đi.” 

“Là ta không được phép chọn. Tiến hóa nằm cùng danh mục với lũ lụt, tuyết lở, động đất. Trước khi nó xảy ra thì người ta không thể biết, và khi nó xảy ra rồi thì đã muộn.”

Added on Friday, April 24, 2015 5:50:30 PM

Và tất cả các đầu lâu ấy đã từng có da thịt phủ lên, chúng đã từng bao bọc những bộ óc có kích thước khác nhau, từng nghĩ đến ăn uống và làm tình. Bây giờ thì tất cả đã tan biến, chỉ còn các âm thanh khác nhau đọng lại. Âm thanh như thủy tinh, chậu cây, ấm trà, như thùng gỗ, ống chì.

Added on Friday, April 24, 2015 5:51:30 PM

Bản thân cái chết không làm tôi sợ lắm. Như lời Shakespeare: ai chết năm nay thì sang năm khỏi phải chết. Kể ra cũng đơn giản.

Added on Friday, April 24, 2015 5:52:00 PM

Cuộc sống không đơn giản, hoàn toàn không đơn giản, nhưng tôi vượt qua ghềnh thác của nó theo kiểu tôi cho là đúng. Và thế là ổn.

Added on Saturday, April 25, 2015 11:40:15 PM

Tôi yêu mấy phút ấy như người khác yêu mặt trời lặn hay không khí trong lành.

Added on Sunday, April 26, 2015 4:29:23 PM

Những gì người khác dạy cậu thì vẫn là của người khác – chỉ cái gì cậu tự học hỏi được mới đọng lại trong tâm trí cậu. Chỉ có thế cậu mới tiến được.

Added on Saturday, March 19, 2016 6:48:34 PM

Với lại chỉ nghĩ đến lúc về nhà sau bảy giờ tối và phải nấu một đống đồ rồi ăn sạch chỗ ấy là em đã ngán tận cổ. Lúc ấy có cảm giác là người ta chỉ sống để ăn thôi, anh có thấy thế không?

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 12:58:47 PM

Ánh sáng làm mọi thứ tối hơn, bếp lửa khiến xung quanh lạnh hơn.

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 1:22:27 PM

Con người đánh đồng tâm hồn với hơi ấm. Nhưng hơi ấm xác thịt và hơi ấm tâm hồn chẳng giống gì nhau.

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 1:24:57 PM

“Nghĩa là anh cũng không hiểu nổi tâm hồn mình?”

“Cũng tùy”, tôi nói. “Đôi khi một thời gian sau người ta mới hiểu chuyện gì đã xảy ra, và thường là quá muộn. Nhưng trong đa số các trường hợp thì thực tế ta phải ra quyết định, dù không thể hiểu tâm hồn mình, lúc đó thì ai cũng thấy lúng túng.” 

“Có vẻ như tâm hồn là một thứ gì tương đối kém hoàn hảo”, cô mỉm cười. 

... “Ừ, anh cũng có cảm tưởng như thế. Rất kém hoàn hảo”, tôi nói. “Nhưng nó để lại dấu vết. Và ta có thể lần theo dấu vết ấy như theo dấu chân hằn lên tuyết.” 

“Và chúng đưa đến đâu?” 

“Đến với chính mình”, tôi đáp. “Tâm hồn là thế đấy. Thiếu nó thì không có một định hướng nào.” 

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 1:37:47 PM

Ai cũng giấu cái cảm xúc của mình dưới một lớp vỏ mỏng hay dày. Cô không thấu thị được tâm hồn rất bình thường của một người rất bình thường, chỉ vì cô chưa biết gì về thế giới bên ngoài.

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 2:20:23 PM

Ông hãy can đảm lên. Khi đã có lòng tin thì chẳng có gì trên thế giới này làm ta sợ nữa cả, tôi đã nói với ông rồi đó. Ông hãy đánh thức những ký ức tươi đẹp, nhớ đến những người mà ông yêu mến, nghĩ lại những lúc ông đã khóc, hồi tưởng thời thơ ấu và các dự định tương lai, những bài hát mà ông thích, cái gì cũng được. Rồi mọi sợ hãi sẽ tan biến.

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 2:24:32 PM

... trong bóng đêm dưới lòng đất thì có khác. Giơ tay lên trước mắt cũng không thấy! Người ta không nhận ra bên trên sắp có gì, còn phải leo bao lâu nữa, hiện đang đứng ở vị trí nào, phía dưới trông ra sao, và liệu có đi đúng hướng không. Tóm lại là mù tịt. Tôi không hề biết là mắt không thấy gì thì người ta sinh ra bối rối và sợ hãi đến như vậy. Ở hoàn cảnh nhất định, điều đó cướp đi của ta toàn bộ nền tảng về giá trị, kể cả cảm giác tự tin và lòng dũng cảm. Khi định đạt được mục tiêu gì, thường là người ta tự đặt ba câu hỏi bất di bất dịch: Ta đã làm được gì? Hiện nay ta đang ở đâu? Còn phải làm gì nữa để đạt mục tiêu? Khi bị cướp đi cả ba mốc đánh dấu đường đi ấy thì chỉ còn sót lại sự bối rối, sợ hãi và mệt mỏi. Vấn đề không phải mức độ khó khăn hay đơn giản về kỹ thuật, mà là người ta biết làm chủ mình được đến mức nào.

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 2:36:31 PM

“Nhưng thiếu tình yêu thì thế giới này thực ra là con số 0”, cô gái mũm mĩm nói. “Thiếu tình yêu thì thế giới như một ngọn gió thổi ngoài cửa sổ. Ta không cảm thấy nó, không ngửi thấy nó. Ông có thể kiếm một cô gái gọi, bất cứ lúc nào, có thể lên giường với nhiều bạn gái như ông muốn, nhưng nó không thật. Trong số ấy, không ai ôm ông thật lòng cả.”

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 2:43:51 PM

Tâm hồn là thế đấy. Nó không hoạt động một cách đều đều. Nó như một con sông, luôn đổi dòng cùng cảnh trí nơi nó chảy qua.

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 3:27:10 PM

Không ai có quyền làm thế! Ký ức ấy là chuyện cá nhân, hoàn toàn riêng tư của tôi, là của tôi. Đánh cắp ký ức chẳng khác gì đánh cắp những năm tháng của cuộc đời thôi. Tôi càng thấy giận hơn, quên hẳn sợ hãi. Tôi thề sẽ sống sót bằng bất cứ giá nào. Tôi phải sống, phải thoát khỏi cái thế giới điên rồ của đêm đen này và giật lại từng ký ức riêng lẻ mà họ đã đánh cắp của tôi. Thế giới này có lụi tàn hay không cũng được. Tôi phải thành con người cũ của mình.

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 3:46:34 PM

Những thợ đốn cây giỏi nhất là người có một vết sẹo. Một thôi, không hơn và không kém. Cậu hiểu tôi định nói gì chứ?”

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 7:15:53 PM

Nó bất thường và trái khoáy. Nhưng vấn đề ở chỗ nó hoàn hảo trong sự bất thường và trái khoáy ấy. Vì tất cả đều bất thường và trái khoáy nên rốt cuộc tất cả có sự hài hòa nội tại. Hoàn hảo. Đại thể như vậy.”

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 7:16:39 PM

“Thành phố khép kín, như vòng tròn này. Vì thế càng ở lâu trong đó và suy đi nghĩ lại thì người ta sẽ cảm thấy mọi thứ đều bình thường. Cậu sẽ bắt đầu ngờ vực trí phán đoán của mình. Chính vì mọi thứ quá hài hòa và hoàn hảo.

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 7:28:31 PM

Lâu lâu không có gì xảy ra là người ta mất tính cẩn trọng. Đây là một bài học cho tôi. Anh biết người xưa vẫn nói: khi ánh mặt trời xuyên qua mái nhà thì hãy dọi kín, phòng khi mưa.

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 7:33:08 PM

Như một kiểu thi nhau dựng hàng rào: một người dựng hàng rào quanh nhà mình và hàng xóm dựng hàng rào cao hơn. Một lúc nào đó hàng rào cao đến mức mất mọi ý nghĩa thực dụng. Nhưng không vì thế mà ai nhường nhịn ai. Ai nhịn là thua. Ai thua là ra rìa.

Added on Friday, June 26, 2020 8:58:36 PM

Chúng tôi chậm rãi đi ngược dòng chảy và tận hưởng phong cảnh. Suốt buổi không ai nói gì. Không phải là vì chúng tôi không có gì để nói với nhau, mà vì câu chữ trở nên thừa thãi. Vài vệt tuyết trắng còn sót nằm dọc bờ hào, những trái dâu đỏ cặp trong mỏ chim, đám rau mùa đông cứng và mập ngoài ruộng, những vũng nước trong vắt dọc bờ sông – chúng tôi ghi nhớ tất cả những hình ảnh ấy trong khi đi qua. Những gì chúng tôi nhìn thấy đều có vẻ như cố hút lấy hơi ấm mỏng manh đột ngột xuất hiện, cho nó tràn vào từng chân tơ kẽ tóc của mình. Ngay cả bầu trời phủ đầy mây cũng mất đi vẻ nặng nề ngột ngạt. Tôi cảm thấy một sự đầm ấm lạ lùng, tựa như thế giới nhỏ nhoi của chúng tôi đang yên vị trong một bàn tay dịu dàng.

Added on Saturday, June 27, 2020 11:40:04 AM

Nhưng không có tranh đấu, căm ghét và thèm muốn thì cũng không có đối trọng của chúng – nghĩa là không có niềm vui, không có hạnh phúc, không có tình yêu.

Added on Saturday, June 27, 2020 11:43:27 AM

Sự hoàn hảo đó phỏng có ý nghĩa gì, khi người ta chỉ giữ được nó bằng cách bắt những tạo vật yếu nhược phải trả giá?

Added on Saturday, June 27, 2020 11:56:40 AM

Nghĩ ngợi về thời gian khiến tôi đau đầu. Thời gian mang quá nặng tính khái niệm, nhưng không ngăn ta nhồi đầy các thứ khác vào. Đầy đến lúc ta không biết sản phẩm đầu ra thuộc về thời gian hay thuộc về thế giới hữu hình.

Added on Saturday, June 27, 2020 2:45:43 PM

... chừng nào có tâm hồn thì sẽ không gì bị mất đi, bất kể người ta đi đâu.

Added on Saturday, June 27, 2020 8:20:49 PM

Có nhất thiết phải nghe nhạc nổi không? Chẳng lẽ âm nhạc chỉ có thể là âm nhạc nếu nghe thấy tiếng vi ô lông bên trái và công tơ bát bên phải? Như thế chẳng khác gì phức tạp hóa phương tiện nhằm tạo ra một tưởng tượng nhàm chán.

Added on Saturday, June 27, 2020 8:43:29 PM

Mặt trời chiếu qua kính chắn gió và bọc tôi vào quầng sáng. Tôi nhắm mắt lại, cảm thấy nắng ấm trên mi mắt. Nghĩ đến quãng đường dài mà tia nắng đi qua để xuống đến hành tinh nhỏ bé này rồi mất một ít sức lực nằm dưới mi mắt tôi, tôi thấy xúc động kỳ lạ.

Added on Saturday, June 27, 2020 8:47:16 PM

Đó là lúc tôi nhận lại những gì bị mất, tôi nghĩ bụng. Tôi đánh mất chúng, nhưng chúng không mất đi đâu cả.

Haruki Murakami - Xứ sở diệu kỳ tàn bạo và chốn tận cùng thế giới

Quote vặt 13

em thích cái j đó trừu tượng hơn
đọc xong để lại suy nghĩ ấy
hơn là để lại cảm xúc rõ rệt
ko biết diễn đạt ntn nhưng em nghĩ anh hiểu

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uhm, e là dân kỹ thuật mà
cái logic cảm xúc của e là logic của đối xứng, xung đột và góc cạnh
hoặc tương phản
hoặc thăm thẳm chiều sâu
chứ ko cần vồ vập ôm ấp, hay nâng niu đắn đót

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cũng có mấy bài về gia đình, em cũng thích

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thành ra nếu e đọc 1 bài thơ, cứ mưa là buồn, nắng mai lên là ngồn ngộn tình iu, e sẽ ko thấy thích

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như bài "Ngôi nhà của bà" Nguyễn Thế Hoàng Linh

--

:D

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em đọc đã khóc mấy lần

---

để a tìm đọc
a chưa bit bài đó
e có đọc thơ Lưu Quang Vũ ko
Hai năm một bận cháu về thăm bà
Chiếc ô tô không vào vừa ngõ hẹp ==> đúng như a nghĩ
logic của e là cảm tới những góc cạnh như này
những đối xứng của không gian, quăng quật lên cái tư duy của người cảm thụ 1 sự nghiệt ngã nào đó 
và vì vậy, nó khơi gợi lên cảm xúc
e cần phải để người ta làm e đau, rồi e mới khóc
:D
vại thì e chưa đọc thơ thiền dc

Vội vàng

Internal conflict vs. external conflict

While ridding the workplace of conflict entirely is not a plausible goal, a small business manager should strive to minimize the amount of conflict present in the business. Attention paid to conflict pulls attention away from the necessary tasks in the business. This can result in lost time and productivity, which can ultimately lead to a loss in profitability if the problem is severe enough. Managers should attempt to remedy the conflict as soon as they are made aware of the situation. Ignoring it in hopes it will go away on its own can be detrimental to the business.

Internal Conflict

The two types of conflict are internal and external. With internal conflict, it is personal to the person involved. This type of conflict takes place within the person. It can surface when a person’s values or morals are tested or otherwise compromised. Internal conflict can cause a great deal of stress as the person has to be able to remedy the situation on his own in most situations. Internal conflict can greatly impact the person’s performance level. Many times, being able to talk about the situation and the source of the conflict can help tremendously.

External Conflict

External conflict is conflict that occurs outside of the person. This can be conflict that is observed in others or outside forces that are causing conflict for the person, such as an unhappy customer or an unruly supplier. External conflict can also be caused when the management style of the business owner does not set well with the employees of the organization. A common example of this is a boss who likes to micro-manage but has a staff of highly independent employees. This is bound to cause conflict and an unpleasant work situation.

Conflict in Workplace

Contrary to what most think, conflict in the workplace can be a positive. Not only can it identify issues that are points of weakness for the business, it can also improve the negotiation and mediation skills of those in the office. Although constant conflict or an overwhelming amount of conflict can cripple a staff, some conflict is necessary to keep employees on their toes. Without any conflict, the staff may become complacent as things always rock along perfectly in the business.

Mediation

Whenever conflict arises, an effective business practice is to involve a mediator. The mediator is a person not personally involved in the conflict and can deliver an unbiased opinion. The mediator also ensures that discussions about the conflict follow certain discussion rules, such as not swearing, yelling or physically showing emotions to the other person. Many times, the mediator in the organization is the human resources manager. The human resources manager may also be a good sounding board for those dealing with internal conflict as well. If the conflict involves the entire organization, it may be necessary to bring in an outside mediator to help with the problem.

Considerations

Developing a set of rules that guide communications during conflict resolution may be a great solution for the company. This includes not interrupting when the other is speaking, actively listening to the other person including paraphrasing back what has been said to ensure understanding and what should happen if emotions escalate. By having this written down and a part of the employee manual, employees at all levels know what to expect during a mediation and can act according to the rules that have been laid out ahead of time and agreed to by all employees of the business.

References (3)

• University of Missouri - St Louis: Conflict Resolution in Project Management
• Business Listening: Conflict Resolution Basics for Business
• More-for-small-business.com: Conflict Resolution Tips For Effective Managing

About the Author
Leigh Anthony has provided ghostwritten content for a variety of small-business sites since 2004. Her work appears on eHow and Chron.com. Her areas of expertise include marketing, human resources, finance and leadership. She holds a Master of Business Administration from the University of Georgia.

Source: smallbusiness.chron.com