What is the difference between genuinely smart people and people trying to be smart?

It's a few things in my view. First one is the need (or lack of) to advertise how smart they are. All the genuinely smart people I know don't try to inject how smart they are into conversations by jumping off topic onto some personal story or new subject they know a lot about. They're comfortable in their intelligence and how it comes across that they don't feel the need to wear it like a neon sign. Their intelligence isn't there to impress other people, it's there for them and their use. If other people notice it and admire it, great. But they don't need it.

The second thing is the genuinely smart person is teachable. They know that no matter how smart they are, there is someone who knows more than they do and rather than feel threatened by that, they take full advantage of it. They listen when the expert talks, they ask questions, they take criticism and they are always willing and eager to learn more.

Third and final thing that I've noticed is that the things a genuinely smart person is that they lack snobbery in regards to their area of expertise. I know that sounds weird, so let me explain. One of my closet friends (who doubles as my first cousin) is super passionate about classic literature. She read books like Othello, My Antonia, and Jane Eyre in middle school, for fun rather than by force. Since then, she'd obtained a BA in Philosophy (another favorite reading material) and is working on her Master's in English Literature. Ans guess what? As much as she loves her classic works, she also loves more modern work, like Harry Potter or The Fault in Our Stars. In other words, my friend doesn't put on airs, looking down at other aspects of her subject as “lesser” because they're not as serious or impacting as “classic work”. She appreciates all of it for what it is, either deeply philosophical or just a nice afternoon of fun. She knows liking more “easy” subject matter doesn't mean she's not intelligent-it just means she likes to read a lot and has varied tastes.

These are key traits that someone who is merely trying to be smart will lack. They will have to remind you, constantly, how smart they are. It'll be subtle and overt and guess what, it'll be all talk and little, if any walk to match it. And the moment you call into question their expertise? They're not going to realize they have more to learn, they're gonna have their hackles up and bite you for daring to suggest they're not a genius. You suggest that it might be fun to make a baking soda volcano? The response probably is: “that's so childish, I only like serious experiments”.

If you see any of those popping up, you're probably in the presence of someone who's trying very hard to be seen as smart, versus actually being smart.

Answered by Isabelle-Grey

————————————————————

People who try to appear to act smart generally do some of the things listed below while people who are smart generally don't:

- Use big words when unnecessary
- Point out the lack of knowledge in a person in the attempt to make themselves look more knowledgeable
- Talk about abstract ideas for no real reason
- Talk really fast to demonstrate that they can think faster than you
- Assume they know what you are talking about rather than actually listening
- Explain things in excess when not needed

Those points above are some things to watch out for to help you determine if a person is actually smart or is just trying to act the part.

Below I touch on some things that smart people do that people who are acting the part don't do

If someone really is smart they usually have more self doubt.

The people that have the least amount of self doubt are the ones who probably aren't actually a smart person.

Of course if someone knows something then they will stand firm by their knowledge, generally speaking though, smart people are more aware of the fact that they don't really know all that much in the grand scheme of things.

So pay attention to the people who show self doubt. They are most likely the real deal.

If you know you know something, you don't have to prove it to others that you know it.

We humans all like social approval and our knowledge and worth to be recognized by others.

That being said though, if you notice that someone is seeking after the recognition of others rather than focusing more on making sure they are doing everything properly, then this indicates that they are trying to act smart rather than being the part.

This is because they are more concerned about looking right than being right.

Smart people focus on honestly being right rather than looking the part.

Even if others think a smart person is wrong that won't stop the smart person since they know they aren't.

A smart person knows when they know something and are not as concerned with looking right because they'd rather be right.

Another way to determine if a person is smart or not is to listen to them.

“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

At first just assume that every thing a person says is true... 

Then when you talk to them about what they've said, asking genuine questions about the things they've indicated to you that they have knowledge on, they will demonstrate if they actually know what they are talking about or not.

If they start saying contradictory things or things that don't make a lot of sense ask them for clarification about it.

If their clarification leads to more confusion this is a sign that they really are just spouting nonsense about something they really don't know about.

The best way to catch a liar is to just ask him questions about what happened.

With time it will become apparent what the truth really is.

Main Thing to Look out for:

The main thing to look out for is if the person is trying to convince you to think of them as a smart person. When you meet people just ask yourself if what they're doing seems to be with the intent of persuading you to think they are smart. Doing this should give you a better idea of what the person is all about.

Answered by David-Brown

Source: quora.com

How people manipulate you by making you regret

There's something about the dark which pulls out feelings we're numb to during the day.

As your monitor lights up your face in the dark room you sit in before getting into bed, you can sometimes get lost in thinking about the state of your social relationships and the progress of your plans.

The nighttime's darkness allows us to analyse how people treated us during the day with a meditative clarity. You start remembering times when people made you feel unwanted, times when prideful individuals gleefully showed off their material possessions, and times when your boss didn't value your output at work.

You start labeling those who possess narcissistic qualities as you think about them further. You realize just how hungry, for what they call success, some people are. You're astounded by the criminals, and are taken aback by those who lie without blinking an eye. They're always in a rush and only focus on themselves. Attainment of wealth and status blinds them to what you call the deeper meanings of life.

As you think about the people in your life before bed, you start to wonder if any of them ever think about you.

Certain thoughts just don't seem to go away however; they conversely grow and poke at our emotions. Someone's nefarious reminder of our potential regrets is particularly powerful in being lodged inside our minds.

"Be sure you won't regret leaving this job for another."

Every action we commit is one that's set in stone for the history books. After their performance, our actions can only be thought about, and their effects can only be celebrated, regretted, or hopefully fixed.

The aim of this article is to help you understand how others may manipulate you by encouraging you to feel regret.

Why eliciting self doubt in others is easy to do

The nefarious induction, and encouragement, of regret in others is the weaponization of a possible truth which is difficult to prove. Regret is seldom crystal clear in its reasoning. It's difficult to regret something with one hundred percent certainty as we never truly know whether our actions were a completely terrible idea.

Regret is grey, it's fuzzy.

Yes, you may regret being up front with the cute person at the bar only to get rejected, but would you regret the same act if your direct advances paid off? Is it thereby worth regretting an action if subjectivity plays a massive role in how successful that course of action is?

Yes, you may regret lashing out at your parents for allowing their worry for you to overstep some privacy boundaries. What if your reaction was warranted? How do you know you wouldn't react the same way again if you felt the same emotions?

You can even come to regret doing many things you've long considered to be good ideas. Regret is born out of feeling like you're missing out on a more optimal course of action. You should've said this instead of that. You should've went here instead of there. Once you come up with a better "there," then your "here," has the potential to be regretted.

The fuzziness and slippery nature of regret is what people who seek to induce regret weaponize. They understand that the potential to regret always looms over our shoulders as we act our way through life. Nobody has this thing figured out. We take a series of calculated risks; day in and day out. They understand that regret can always have the potential to be true, even if someone's mightily confident in what they've done.

"You should've bought the flight that overlays in Manila, it's always a few hundred dollars cheaper."

All that's required for regret to sprout and spread its roots in the mind of another is the introduction of a better action, outcome, or situation than what in fact took place.

Why regret is powerful in submitting

Riding the wave of the potential truth behind regret, the malicious individual thereby seems to know something you don't when they introduce regret into the picture. They arm themselves with a perceived knowledge about what you should have done, and what you should've said.

By making you feel a sense of regret, they place themselves in a dominant position as it relates to yours. Their confidence wouldn't have a wedge stuck in it, as they go on to stick a wedge in the confidence you acted with prior to speaking with them.

When someone makes you feel regret, they place themselves in a position to teach you and give advice. Once they elicit a sense of regret about the past within you, malicious individuals will jump at the chance to mold your actions into the future.

They'll place themselves as the knowledgeable one and will reinforce your potential regret of the past. Such individuals will make you feel inadequate in the context of what they coerce you to regret. They'll make you feel unskilled, and will tend to make themselves out to be as skillful.

These individuals will utilize a potential possibility of regret being right for you to feel as a chance for themselves to come out on top. They'll be less interested in figuring out whether you really should be regretting what you did and will be more interested in continually making you feel it.

A person who regrets is a person who is generally at a crossroads. They are generally more lost than the confident trailblazers. They're more susceptible to being coerced, pressured, and manipulated. Be wary of individuals who consistently mention the possibility of regret around you. Try to pick out the ones who seek to capitalize on your act of regretting your past actions in an effort to place themselves above you.

Source: kletische.com